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Down with Game Shows
AKA: "Why Alex Trebec and Regis Philbin Should go Away")
The game shows. They should be stopped before they continue the dumbing down of us all to real life versions of badly casted movie characters. Have you ever see "Dumb and Dumber?" Well, if you allow yourself to become addicted to all of idiotic game shows the networks are feeding us these days, perhaps that movie sounds more like your future than a farce. Do you not see what is being done to us? These so called "game shows" are the crack cocaine of television, and you should "Just Say No."
As a child of a stay-at-home-mom, I always loved Joker's Wild, Tic-Tac-Dough, and the early Price-is-Right. It was great to watch regular people win fun prizes and cash. I often shopped with my mom, so I knew the prices of things on Price is Right. "Come on down, Brenda.... you can win!" When I grew up, I wanted to be on Bob Barker's Contestant's Row! Or better yet, a "Barker's Beauty."
Do you remember "MatchGame 76?" Anyone? It was entertaining, funny, and although risque for its time, quite clever. I watched it as a child and didn't understand half the jokes, but laughed anyway because anything pouring out of Charles Nelson Reilly's mouth was just hilarious. It just was.
Apparently I zoned out for about 20 years or so, and the game show world changed. I don't know what happened, maybe Mark Goodson and Bill Toddman just cannot be replaced? Or maybe we are all becoming so intellectually challenged that we cannot summon the mental strength to read a book or two now and then. We prefer to watch "Idiot Parade" in its various forms.
The Grand Marshalls
There is something fascinatingly sick about the content of today's game shows. It's sort of like an eight-car pile up on the interstate. You hate to see the carnage and the destruction, yet you can't take your eyes off it. I can't bring myself to call these shows "games" anymore. They are not game shows, they are "idiot parades." And the hosts? They are the Grand Marshalls.
Whoever hired the chick on "Weakest Link" should be dipped in honey, rolled in turbinado sugar, and then thrown into a pile of fire ants. Since when is being a pompous, hateful bitch a good thing? When I act like that I get bounced off the walls at work, shunned, and reprimanded. My boyfriend just leaves and comes back after the mood has passed. Yet she gets paid to act like she has PMS 24/7. If I had a job like that for just three days a month, I could retire by the time I'm 40. (Personal Note to Anne: You are the weakest excuse for talent. Goodbye.)
Deliver me from Alex "I'm-From-Canada-But-Speak-With-A-Hispanic-Accent-When-It-Suits-Me" Trebec. I cannot believe any self-respecting person would spend part of their day watching this man. Try out for the show? Fly to the studio and talk to him? No tme.
Alex: "A popular mexican dish consisting of grilled meat, rolled in flour tortiYASSSS"Contestant: "What is a burrito?"Alex: "Nooooooooo, sorry. The answer is fa-HEEE-THAAASSSS!" (Personal Note to Alex: You’re from Canada)
I love the spoof of "Jeopardy" they do on "Saturday Night Live." Will Ferrell plays Trebec, and Darrell Hammond plays Sean Connery. Hammond says the one thing we all wish just one contestant would say: "Trebec you pompous windbag... it's easy for you to act so smart when you have those cards in front of you!" From his lips to Nielsen's ears.
Bob Barker, you broke my heart. The truth is out about you. You didn't pay your staff enough to keep quiet about how vindictive you are, not to mention horny. Although, I don't consider that, in and of itself, a bad thing. But dipping your pen in the show's inkwell, and firing your beauties because they put on a few pounds? Heartless. Do us all a favor and get yourself neutered. Please.
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