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Down with Game Shows (continued)
The Idiots
Whatever happened to Joe Citizen going to California for a vacation, stopping off in Burbank to audition for a game show, getting lucky, winning a Corvette, and going home happy?
Today, we have Darla Conger, who enters a contest to marry a millionaire. Um... last time I checked, prostitution was supposed to be illegal in most states, but not when we disguise it as "entertainment." I have more respect for hookers who walk the streets -- at least they admit what they are! Darla marries him, divorces him, and calls herself "a victim." Now she makes a living off of being a victim. What a sorry excuse for a "job." and a life. (Personal Note to Darla: If your self-esteem was so low you needed to judge a man by his wallet, you deserved everything you got.)
Has-been celebrities boxing to get their weak careers restarted? Fortunately this rarely is a successful public relations strategy. But honestly, after a long day at work, do I really want to see Paula Jones again? No, I do not. (Personal Note to Paula: Most men will show it to you if you stand there long enough. Nobody made you look. Now shut up and go back to the plastic surgeon, it's obvious he isn't finished. And please, do us all a favor, move to another country and stop infecting us!
I just checked the "Fear Factor" website. Here is their "teaser" for the week: "Ever imagine what it would be like to stick your face deep into a box of live maggots and come out with a mouth chock full of squirming worms?” That has got to be the dumbest fucking question I have ever heard. Why, just the other day, as I was dreaming about a menage a tois with Dick Cheney and Oliver North, I said to myself, "Bren, you know, sex is really overrated. Why don't you put your face in a box of maggots?"
Today's parade participants usually consist of genetic extremes--those who are first-generation thumb owners (their poor thumbless parents are so proud that evolutionary magic was finally sprinkled into their shallow genetic pool), and, those who dream about trivia with such unbridled lust they get aroused just wondering about the migration habits of the Canadian goose.
I have to respect the trivia geeks though. At least they are using their brains for something. Why, they can retain more useless knowledge per brain cell than your average American. I am not sure what they do with all that after making a killing on Jeopardy, though. Perhaps go to work for the post office in Boston, and then hang out at Cheers after work? Hmm, I digress.
It's the people who go on "Fear Factor," "Greed," "Survivor," and the like, who frighten me the most. Well, they frighten me, but so do the people who watch those shows. After all, somebody is watching them, and it ain't me. These shows are the perpuation of the dumbing down and coninuing greed of America: "Screw you, I'm taking your money!"
Stop and think people. You probably turn your nose up at crack, because you find it destructive and dangerous to your brain. What the hell do you think watching someone put their face in maggots does to your brain? What will you do for entertainment after that? Perhaps your children or grandchildren will someday ask you how you passed your time back in the good old days, right after the turn of the millenium. What will your answer be?
"Glad you asked me, Grandson. Back in the good old days, I watched people do interesting stuff like put their face in a box of maggots. Sometimes I just watched people be greedy, though, and occasionally, I would watch some slut sell herself to the highest bidder and call herself getting married. Of course, then there was boxing."
"Really Grandpa? Who did you like? George Foreman? Ivander Holifield?"
"Hell no... Bob Saget and Allen Thick!."
Sure, that sounds idiotic, yet we live in a world where someone like Regis Philbin gets paid for what he does.
Trebec...you are the weakest link. Goodbye!
Brenda
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